Friday, November 23, 2007

Moron- exhibit A

I was taking a woman to Penn Station from the Upper East Side. We decided to go through the park, because 5th avenue was closed from 59th street to 28th Street. Approaching a Central Park transverse road, we got stopped at a red light. I pulled to the left lane of the street to avoid a line of cars. While we were stopped at the light, a silver/grey early 90's Jeep Grand Cherokee on my right side, turned his wheels all the way to the left, and nudged his nose into my car's space. 

Having driven long enough in the city, I knew this would become a game of chicken; if unchecked through actual verbal communication, this could become ugly. 

I gesture to him with my hands, as if to say, what are you doing? how is this scenario going to work friendly sir? He returns my hand gestures with some mocking gestures of his own. So I figure that I am going to have to explain things to this dense individual. I roll my window down:

I say: "There is no traffic behind me. You can pull in behind me."

He goes: "What!?"

"There is no traffic behind me. Pull in behind me," I say

"I'm deaf. I can't understand you," says this guy.

Hmmm, what is the clearest way I should explain this to a deaf man. what words would be easiest to interpret by lip reading?

"STAAAY, UWAAAY FROM MY CAR?" I said, as loudly and clearly as I could.

"What!" He became indignant in his priorities.
Wow, he wasn't deaf at all, 

So I say: "OHH so you not deaf. FUCK YOU... JERK!" I stick up my middle finger so the world could see.

Then he says: "What, you f--(mama jamma) I want to talk to you!" His wife starts pulling him back, as this big russian looking guy is fighting with the door. Holy shit, I don't think he wants to talk to me at all. I think he wants to bash my face in.

"Jesus Christ," says my passenger.

What is funniest about all of this is that his car was too close for him to squeeze out of his car, his big ass couldn't fit out of his door. I think his wife helped a lot too. 

So as I pass this exhibit of a moron I beep my horn at the traffic cop, and point behind me. He gestures for me to come over, but I refuse. I'm just a taxi driver, and I figure the world hates me, besides I have a passenger and she has to get to Penn Station.


3 comments:

Roy said...

I let those guys off these days, used to fight for my inch of road but not any more

John said...

One of these he will meet the wrong guy. A small guy with a rocket launcher!!!!

Lucky 327 said...

well said. I wish I were a cop, so I could arrest him for being a scar on civilization, what is one to do?

I'm usually pretty good with ignoring others, but when they seem to be unaware of a car where they are turning, I need to get their attention.