Thursday, June 21, 2007

top 13 questions in this order

This is a lame post, oh well:

q1. Are you actually from New York?
a1. "Yes"

q2. You're American?
a2. Puzzled look on my face followed by a pause, and then "Yes."

q3. Why are you doing this job?
a3. "Cause it's fun."

q4. Were you here when the Trade Center fell down?
a4. "I saw it on TV, then I went for a walk. There was smoke for days. Some days smoke would blow to Jersey, some days it would blow to Brooklyn. We couldn't go downtown, it was closed."

q5. Are you new?
a5. "Uhh, yes. I've been driving for around 2 years off and on, only on weekends now."

q6. Can I smoke?
a6. "Yes if you roll down the windows, and make sure the smoke is blowing out of the cab." Or, "No." It's illegal, I have asthma, and it is unfair to later passengers.

q7. How old are you?

q8. Can you take me to Brooklyn?
a8. "Of course, do you know how to get there?" I use all modesty in case I get lost. Most people are very friendly as they know it is hard to get a ride out of Manhattan.

q9. Can you take me to Queens?
a9. Same as above.

q10. Where is the Lincoln Tunnel?
a10. "Go to 42nd Street and follow the traffic."

q11. Know of any good bars here?
a11. "I don't drink and drive, so I wouldn't know." There are thousands upon thousands of bars in the city. If I knew a good bar in every neighborhood I wouldn't have a job, I'd be an alcoholic.

q12. You get a lot of freaks in your cab?
a12. "No." I bet you're a freak.

q13. What is your other job, or what do you do with the rest of your time?
a13. You're reading it right now.


Eugene Salomon said...

Here's one you might want to add to your repertoire:
Passenger: "Have you lived in New York all your life?"
Driver: "Not yet!"

NYC taxi photo said...

ha, yeah that's good. so true. So hard for a born nyrker to leave, no place like it.

Michael said...

Hey Forman,

Nice post. I could never drive a cab or be a waiter or do anything service-related where I would have to be nice to morons. You have my respect!