Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Soggy Day Turned Sour

Installment #1

It was about 3 weeks ago when luck or taxi demand was taking a nose dive. It started to rain, but despite such weather I couldn't find a passenger for, well, for too long considering the conditions. When I finally got a guy, he wanted to go to LaGuardia Airport, which under rainy conditions sucks usually. Theory being, rain brings more customers, airport takes you away from customers. 

I still considered it fortunate to have a longer ride, since I wasn't doing well in Manhattan, until the BQE went from 3 lanes to a 1 lane merge. I listened to all the traffic reports on my way to the Expressway, but of course there was no mention of such stupidity! I began to worry about how slow just one line of cars would be,  so I got off at the last exit before the merge. As I left the highway I saw the one lane split into two and move sluggishly yet progressively. Now having exited I was up a creek with a weak paddle. 

I tried as hard as I could not to make the same mistakes I did over a year ago when I opted for the streets instead of the highway at the very same exit, but it was no use. I was engulfed with sarcastic oohs and ahhs from my passenger as we took 50 minutes to get to LaGuardia from pick-up to drop. 

The fare ended with a Credit Card Transaction, and no tip entered, but at least the semi improvised route added ten bucks. Still it ate all my time, and all my time ate all my money.  I am all for giving the customer the best route possible, and that was why I tried so hard, but his sarcasm led me to believe he wouldn't tip, and paying with a credit card takes 5% of the fee out of my wallet. If he were nicer, I would've offered to turn off the meter at 25 dollars, but when I apologized for taking such a backwards route, he started with the sarcasm. 

Having realized that I completely ruined my day by having such an untimely fare and having my nerves worn down a bit in the process, I decided to try my luck with the taxi hold lots at the airport, but no such luck. And so after another wasted half hour, I decided the only thing I had left in me to do with my lack luster energy and limited time, was to drive back toward the city looking for Queens fares. 

To be continued..


Unknown said...

Here's a tip (finally):

Start to carry around a black hood which, from the outside, looks opaque. Only you know that from the inside you can see clearly.

When the fare starts to bitch and moan, slam on the brakes, make the sound of locking the doors (they're locked anyway, right?), get out your handy-dandy psycho-hood, and say, "You think that's funny, muthafuckah! I'll show you funny!" while making a big to-do about putting the hood over your head.

Drive like a maniac.

As if that's not enough, if you really want to get crazy, you should have two video screens in the rear which are triggered by the change in driving style.

On one of the screens you should show the passenger a live feed of exactly what's happening to him. That is, you should show him video of himself. That's just...that's just fucking weird.

On the other screen, you should have the passenger's real-time face, captured from the same camera feeding screen 1, superimposed over a female porn star in the midst of an extremely raunchy sex scene.

For the sake of your readers, I'll forgo a description of said scene.

Needless to say, you will have you comeuppance.

NYC taxi photo said...

hmmm, all valid ideas... well no not really, but definitely good therapy just thinking about such vengeance. I could go on about my worst rides, but I try to keep it happy on the taxiphotoblog. Needless to say, I've had worse.

Anyway dude, I owe you a recommendation blog post.

Anonymous said...

Here's a tip
stop off, eat a bagel and a strong cup of coffee (drink the coffee)

NYC taxi photo said...

Yes, big coffee has helped me many a time.

Anonymous said...

Ahhhh....... take no notice of them bro....... you are a star of stage and screen....... your blog is in the New York Times OMG........ YOU ARE A STAR!!!!!
Hehehehehehe........ fantastic ........ Keep on Keepin On ! You deserve it the blog is looking way good!

Cheers mate Jez XXXXXX


NYC taxi photo said...

nice jez, your quick with the emails. Yeah i'm totally how they say in california "stoked" about it